Wife and I have been together now over 30 years. The idea of not having her around at this point is that it will only happen when the Grim Reaper takes one of us away. The whole idea of trust and "what is she doing over there three hours away?" is a game for the young. I am so busy during the week, I barely pay attention to her when she calls. I mean, I hear the words, but it's not like when you are 16 and thinking in your head, "Is she with another guy?" At some point you just move on from that, I don't know if it is getting older or just your focus changes to other matters.
I got a call from a friend last night that she was done with her guy because he had lied about having another girl around and she could not trust him anymore. I offered her a room for the night, but she said she could wait it out until today, but she would probably go to her mother's place. To my surprise, I woke up to a couple of texts from the guy. I texted back a hello and he proceeded to fill me in on his side of the story. I honestly believe him, he is what I always term a "good guy", whatever that means. To me, it says, he doesn't get drunk, he is focused on school and his future, and he has never really played the field. He unloaded a bunch of issues on me, I guess he needed to talk to someone, but regarding the "girl" he had over, she was over with her boyfriend which my friend did not tell me about, whether she knew or not.
It sucks for the guy in this scenario that he has never had trust in the first place, even though he has never done wrong, to my knowledge. She caries baggage from dating too many idiots and is basically putting all the old trash on the new guy. I am not sure if this comes solely from her, or if her mom is helping to make the guy look bad, but she also had a girlfriend over last night and there was alcohol involved which leads me to think that her brain got filled with bad images of worst situations. I don't think the guy would willingly text/call me except that he is at his wit's end. I told him to just relax and get a good night's sleep, he had been up the last two nights without much sleep. Then I told him if she is using this as an excuse to end the relationship, there isn't much you can do about that. If it is a misunderstanding, we'll (Wife and I) get it out of her and push her back in your direction.
I told him if I could give him any advice for this or any future relationship is to be the man in the relationship. Do not be a "Yes Dear." type of guy, they never win in the end that I have seen. When you give the reins completely to a woman, she grows heavy with power and then fails. I have seen it in relationships in friends, coworkers, and family. The pussiest of pussy replies is "I do all the work so she can have an easier life and more time to herself." What for? So she can fill that dingbat brain with bad ideas? Keep them busy wondering what your next move is, like a kitty cat chasing that laser light around the room. Otherwise, they just focus their energy on how they can fuck up your wonderful day.
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