2/13/18 Are People Becoming More Special?

    We were in a hurry yesterday now that Javalina is a two sport beast.  I wanted to pick him up, eat, go home, poop and take a quick shower, as is my routine before work, then get to the gym before 5:15.  We made it about 5 minutes late, so it all worked out but in the meanwhile, I encountered a different kind of animal that I really wish I had a sock full of pennies so I could give her one in the head and another in the ass.
    We rushed into Whataburger (yeah yeah, we know it's unhealthy, talk to the idiot slowing the line down!) and stood behind this conversation.  "Yeah, I want the swiss mushroom burger but without the patty."  The kid behind the register "umm, let me get a manager. Yeah, she wants a swiss mushroom burger without the meat patty."  Manager, "Hmm."  I guess there is a discount to make the burger cheaper or something, he pressed a couple keys, she kept staring at her menu she had in her hand.  I didn't know Whataburger had laminated menus.  Before she finished paying the cook came over from behind the wall... "Ma'am, you said no patty?" Asshole Lady "yeah, and my name is Lydia, so call me by that name.  That was not her name, but she said something about her name, like the guys gave a shit.  If she was skinny I would think maybe she is on to something, but she was a typical older fat mom, the fuck does she think she was kidding?
    Javalina told me to order him the usual and went and sat down after we exchanged glances behind Special Edna of this is going to take awhile, I had to stand and crawl behind this lady because fast does not exist in her vocabulary.  I ordered both our meals, paid, and then had to wait while this bitch fished through the lids, like there was a cleaner one farther back, as she left her fingerprints on all the tops I might have grabbed.  For some weird reason she took the lid for her soda and like two extra ones.  At least she wasn't a hobo, so her touching all the lids wasn't the end of the world, but come on, if you do this, remember, you're not that clean, you pick at your nose and your crotch at your desk too.  Don't be touching through everything like you're a goddam bubble boy who might catch a disease from a plastic top.
    If you order a burger with no meat, why not order a salad instead, what are you doing?  You still have all the carbs from the two big pieces of bread and all that nasty sauce.  Nevermind that mushrooms are literally grown on top of shit.  She bought a shitburger, awesome.  And you're still fat you Fuck!