Last night we were down of the essentials, including bread. Trying to keep order and my minions under control I decided to go to the store in the morning. I didn't need to but the idea of rushing when I woke up just doesn't sound like fun to me. I have to drop off Chubs over at Bedichek Middle School which the campus butts up to William Cannon on one side and there is an HEB there. I freaking hate it because it looks infested by junkies and dirty people. I have gone in and it's like half an HEB. They have what you need, but barely. I always feel my vehicle is going to be missing when I come out, so I always make sure and hurry.
It has become routine for Wife and I to talk in the morning when I am driving home and she is driving to La Pryor. It is funny that it takes us about the same amount of time, 15 min or so. She travels 17 miles of one lane country road, I travel 7 miles in the Austin city limits, from Ben White to Slaughter Lane. This morning she was on her way to San Antonio and she called to say good morning to Chubs before I dropped him off. Because she was on the phone she suggested if I was going to the store to go to the HEB, it is right there and a little cheaper than Target. Yeah, but I like Target, it is cleaner and the people aren't as sketchy. She said to stop being a girl and just go to HEB. Fine!
Leave no good deed unpunished is the saying, as soon as I turned into the parking lot an old rickety truck made a beeline in my direction. I quickly figured he was going to hit me in the front bumper if he didn't correct his angle. I had just turned in to the parking lot, if I backed up I would be back on First Street with tons of moving cars. I yelled and honked the horn and I just looked at the guy who was either out of it or drunk. He made no attempt to correct himself, luckily he was going slow as shit. He nudged me. I was in shock yelling and moving my hands trying to get his attention. Upon contact I figured he would snap, but no he gassed it a bit, at this I rolled my windows down and started cussing hysterically "back up, you fucking Idiot!" "What the fuck is the matter with you?!" He stopped his truck backed up about a foot, I thought we were going to get off and assess damages, but no he kept rolling slowly. I was off yelling and pointing "You hit me!" "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He very calmly yelled back at me "Go fuck yourself!" "I didn't hit you." Like a fucking retarded Jedi, what? I was going to agree with him? I was pointing at the part where his paint was but he didn't even take his head off the backrest, next thing I know he floored it and took off. This is what I call a Shit Human. No value to society, cut his balls off so he doesn't reproduce more shit people. This is the type of subhuman I would've liked to see old Vlad The Impaler stick on a spike and have it slowly penetrate his asshole and come out slowly through his neck, fucking waste of oxygen.
Honestly, my Excursion just had a little bit of paint on the bumper, but if any of you readers are Shit People, fully grown or in training, the right thing to do is stop, accept fault and apologize. I didn't need his insurance after really looking at it, but have the fucking balls to admit that you screwed up. I told Wife who was still on the phone after all my cussing "never again do I listen to you. I knew this HEB was bad news!"
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