3/11/15 I Can't Drive 65?

    I generally try to stay cool under fire.  There is one situation when I cannot control my behavior and that is when I'm driving.  I lose my head when I get behind any of the brain dead citizens of our fair town.  I am usually waiting like a funny car racer when the light changes, it's go time.  I love being the lead car, even though I drive a huge fat Excursion, I will usually be in front of the pack when the light changes because I am always ready to go.  But put me behind someone who is "cruising" and I become Capt. A-hole, I hate losing even a car length to the person beside me because of someone else.

    I believe it was Adam Carolla who summed it up.  While walking on a sidewalk, you wouldn't let the stranger walking in front of you to put his arms out and allow him to dictate the pace you will be walking, forced to walk at his pace, stopping to window shop and holding you back.  This same behavior is exactly what happens when we get behind the wheel of our cars.  We are supposed to be courteous to other drivers, but some people are just horrible humans.

    Saturday night, we went to Salt Lick, which is delicious and buffet style, but it is out in the middle of nowhere.  Coming back, we were privileged to be behind a driver going about 15-20mph.  I flashed my high beams in a get your shit together kind of way, and he automatically hit a u-turn.  It was a smallish car, and I guess he kind of made his turn, guess he forgot something at the restaurant.  I then got going, and a few seconds later we got behind a convoy of cars going 35mph.  The road is curvy and it was dark, but that is a little too slow.  At this point, what can you do?  I wasn't even behind him to honk or flash, so I have to sit back, sulk and wait for a turn.  It feels so free when you can finally turn and floor it.  65 feels like an escape from that jog we had been doing, behind ole Numbnuts.

    My dad was riding in the back and he cautions me "hey, the baby is in the car (my brother's boy spent the day with us), be careful."  I snapped back "I am in the car, I am being careful!"  This is how I drive with my boys in the car, why does the baby change anything?  My dad has become old and nervous, when my wife starts up that I am being reckless, I complain but generally tone it down a bit.

    Lately, Chubs has become a vocal passenger.  He'll be playing a video game and look up and go "ahh!" my response is always a startled "what?!"  He'll say something like I thought we were gonna crash.  Then I have to say "Chubs, I've been driving for thirty years, shush it!, we're headed to Walmart, I'm not gonna crash here in the neighborhood.